Bodily mishaps

I burp. I fart. That is me. My body works like it is supposed to. I do not understand women who would rather die than make body noises in front of their significant other.

Was I one of those women before? Well yes, but I learned it is a natural thing to do. Do I do it at my parent's house. Sometimes. Do I do it in public? I try not to but sometimes something might slip. I do not walk up to someone, shake their hand and then fart or burp. I might excuse myself and walk to a deserted corner of a room or outside. I do not do it for reaction. I do it because if I do not, the build up can become so intense, I can become doubled over in pain that I can compare to child birth. When given the choice between pain or passing, I choose to pass.

I enjoy and eat a lot gassy foods. I prefer to drink with a straw which increases my air intake when I drink. I will not change to suit what society deems as socially inappropriate.

Who made this such a bad thing anyway. Burping is some countries is a sign of a good meal. Even farting is not made such a big deal in some countries. Why is it more acceptable for a man to do these things but it is not alright for a woman?

Well maybe one day, society will decide that these are bodily functions that help the body and I hope it is soon. Shawn takes after me. Poor kid.