Hello old friend

It has been so long since I last posted. I feel like I am welcoming a friend back into my life.

Things have changed yet stayed the same. I am the heaviest I have ever been, Shawn is now 6 and playing little league and John's job is no longer secure. However, my life has not really changed. We still are trying to get our house back together but our house has been in chaos for so long I am not sure how to handle the fact that it is getting back to normal. What is now normal?

My work has changed some as my job remains the same but most of the players are different. I do have a new boss but I have worked with her for so long, I do not really see the change.

I guess that is how I let myself get heavier. I have been fat for so long that the extra 15 or so pounds did not seem to register in my head. My body felt it but my head not so much.

So now I am the fattest female at work. I am the fattest in my family and John's family. I am the fattest mom at daycare and school. Basically, I am the fattest of any person I know. Whoo fucking hoo, I get the prize.

So what do I do now? Well, I guess I will do what I do every time I feel like this. I will start to eat healthier whilst trying to justify my cheating moments. I cancelled WeWa due to money issues so I now am looking at Sparkpeople, which is free, to help lead me in the right direction.

So as I eat my WeWa ice cream since it is cake and ice cream day at work, I will ponder what I have to do to get healthy and lighter.